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Where's HE? A big step forward

Where ER when I'm sad?
Where ER if I do not know what to do?
Where ER when I need security?
Where's ER if I want to drop me?
Where ER if I'm happy?
Where ER if I want to forget the world?

I can and will wait no longer simply wait for the right. where he is?
you live at all, or should I live my long to be alone?
As you can see?
Where are you from?
When will we finally meet?

So many questions but none of the answer I can.

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Where a glorious start to the new age!

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After that, our bad!

Another cake in the evening

And a wonderful birthday party in Calcutta!

Torianna Thanks !!!!!

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life and death in Kaligat

Since I'm here, four women and two men died in Kaligat. Yesterday it was Agnes and it was the first time that I have directly experienced. All others had passed the night. and everything we have noticed was the next day that a new guest had occupied the bed.

Agnes had already spent two years in Kaligat and had very serious cancer. A small, dainty old woman with wrinkles all over her face and cheeky eyes. I saw them every day in the last two weeks, even if I had not such close contact with her as with some others. She could be very grumpy, often had quite a pain. Every day she was joined by Sr. Koruna fresh. The wound was not a pretty sight. The last two days she was alert and surprisingly cheerful. Has complained or not at all gemotzt. The day before yesterday in the night it went well then you have very bad and it has not left his bed yesterday. (Most are on the day and sits around in the hallway.). The relaxed rhythm of the day was simply to decline. The beds were cleaned, mopped the floor, Chai distributed to all. Again and again, someone was sitting on her bed, holding her hand. At about eleven o'clock she has to breathe then simply aufgehoert. Another Volontairin noticed. When someone dies, then come the most that are there and gather around the bed of the deceased. The sisters pray a prayer for the dead, all share a Hail Mary and an Our Father. Including yesterday. With all pray, no matter what they believe. It is a delicate mood is created in a peculiar way. It occurs a moment of silence, a power-aware what this is about.

Agnes was finally washed and put in fresh clothing. Then, a blanket over it spread until it was picked up. Everyone will be buried in his own religion. In very few cases comes after the death of the family and take over the funeral, but usually carry the sisters.

Many of the other women in Kaligat have cried a lot, died as Agnes. Shepali, which for 12 years in Kaligat, completely motionless on her bed is accessible and speaks relatively good English told me a bit of it. Her grief was not to be overlooked. She says it was difficult - again and again, people are dying, have become part of their world. And this world is very small. But she believes in God and that Agnes is now a beautiful place.

Consoling arms were at most welcome. I have many details about angehoert Agnes in Hindi and Bengali. Finally, she was two years part of the "family" and was well known. One would think that it belongs in such a place as usual, that someone dies, but that's not true. Time and again it runs like a shiver of shock caused by the local residents. The tears rolled out of sadness, but also out of fear for their own death. And yet it's just part of the whole. and have lunch draws to mind the most freohlichere back into fields.

It's come and go on and off. No sooner had the corpse Took been picked up already had a new wife who has taken the bed. Hulda. Every day, nurses and longer lasting Volontaire out on the street and into the slums to search for those who have no one are at the end. One dies, then they will know where they are going to have to find someone new for the bed. As our sister Koruna Neuankoemmeling Hulda asked how she is, they answered with a small voice from a bundle of blankets:

"I exist somehow."

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A few impressions of Kolkata

Victoria Memorial

poultry on the market

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chill in the garbage

school bus!

contrast

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And two of our friends from Kaligat

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Suffering

The theme suffering and to me remains a mystery. We had just group sharing the Mother House and one of the sisters give us some told to Mother Teresa and her understanding of suffering. Although I have read the books already, but if a nurse tells himself with burning the heart of it, then you get very different approach to the action. Mother, as Mother Theresa is mentioned here only loving, has itself many, many years a night of the soul experienced after she could not take in the years before intensive, deep, almost ecstatic experience with Jesus Zwiegesparech The darkness of the soul that is in the book "Come Be My Light" can read in detail, is and remains incomprehensible to me. But I can still imagine that it takes an incredibly deep love, if you suffer on the cross - On "Father, why hast thou forsaken me" take share can and will take part. to love So that you want the most painful moment in the life of the beloved not only witness but to suffer through ... and it does. As I said - it remains a mystery to me. Again and again I come across the Gadenken that Jesus has already paid all but pain for us. The fact that he has already paid. He has done it perfectly. How can virtually "my suffering", sacrificed or not, add something to what he has already met completely?

I understand what good is that he leads us in Wuestenzeiten. That we are cleansed and the Lord to lead us ever closer to him, permits, that we suffer. That it's what keeps us away from him, and showing dispel. All the more, the more we open ourselves to him and ask him for it. This must be accompanied by pain ... any kind. An individual way. He who believes and prays knows that there are times when the heart is so full that it overflows. , But that there are also times where it seems to be empty and dry. And then the loyalty and stay tuned is asked in faith. Even without Hochgefuehle inside.

I think the acceptance of one's own suffering, personal cross can be wonderful. But I can also believe that it does not remain in their adoption. If we suffer, and believe that we are cleansed by then You can not stop there. Never is suffering for the suffering will something good. Must always remain the searching gaze of the Risen. And faith and hope for healing, forgiveness and salvation. And the certainty that Jesus has indeed already paid for everything and we therefore allowed to have life in abundance!

The whole issue is big and wide and many questions remain in my heart. What do you think?

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A cemetery in Calcutta from the 19th century

cemeteries have fascinated me ever. How do people bury their dead says a lot about it from. So I am also paid such a visit in Calcutta. However, he makes no statement about the Calcutta of today, but evidence of its former, resulting in Kollonialherrschaft superb. He is like an oasis in this increasingly loud and noisy city. Behind the cemetery walls you will find a forest, semi-cultivated, half forfeit. The noise fades into the background and the silence of death surrounds you.

I wander through the Graeberstadt, because otherwise you can not call it, and enjoy the almost-silence.

The tombs are impressive - very old and one of them sees the years are buried many young people here -. Many English names engraved on the grave stones. From Kollonialzeit, we I suppose. Who died here, was also buried here. However, Anglo-Indians fnd themselves, for example, the poet Henry Louis Vivian Derozio , the apparently great respect and reverence to this day is brought against. His grave is adorned with Blumenkraenzen. This illustrates the dilemma. the last time. The English Kollionalherren together with the anti-imperialist patriot, but could not deny his roots and, on a Freiudhof. verreint in death.

grave stones

Grabesstaetten

grave of Henry Louis Vivian Derozio (18 April 1807-26 December 1831), an Indian teacher and poet and Patriots

Oh! when our country writhes in galling chains

When her proud masters scourge her like a dog;

If her wild cry be borne upon the gale,

Our bosoms to the melancholy sound

Should swell, and we should rush to her relief,

Like some, at an unhappy parent's wail!

And when we know the flash of patriot swords

Is unto spirits longing to be free,

Like Hope'e returning light; we should not pause

Till every tyrant dread our feet, or till we find

Graves...

child's grave

Saeulenhalle in the cemetery

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A blessed and happy new year !!!!!

With Torianna after the New Year's Mass in Mother House